Who deserves forgiveness is a Pandora's box.

According to some, forgiveness is something that everyone deserves.

Others suggest that forgiveness is not a right; it's something that you need to earn.

As parents, there are many avenues we could take, but today, I'm going to emphasise the crucial aspect of self-forgiveness.

Recognising and forgiving ourselves for our parenting mistakes is not just a personal journey, but a vital step towards maintaining your mental health and enhancing our ability to care for your children.

Parenting is a tough gig because of the responsibility it entails.

Suddenly, having a child means you are accountable for raising a child to become an adult who contributes meaningfully to society.

Regardless of how many children you have, every child is different and has different needs and wants.

As an adult, you are responsible for providing these wants and needs for your child as required.

Parenting is a lifelong commitment, and while it may feel overwhelming at times, it's important to remember that it's a privilege not everyone gets to experience.

Despite the challenges, being a parent is a choice that brings with it countless opportunities for growth and love.

Do you need to forgive yourself for any of these three areas?

Parenting Mistakes

No parent is perfect. We've all heard the saying, 'Nobody is perfect.' You're human, and regardless of your role, that isn't going to change.

Everyone makes mistakes, whether it's a personal or professional role, and then, fingers crossed, we learn from them.

For example, a family often starts when the parents are in their 20s or 30s.

Consequently, at that stage of life, you're setting yourself up financially and nurturing your relationship with your partner, children, extended family and friends.

Additionally, you're creating a stable home life and environment for your family, undertaking further education and developing skill sets, becoming involved in community activities, developing social connections, and so much more.

Give yourself a break. You've got a lot on your plate, and bagging yourself out serves no purpose.

What matters is the love you have for your child and your intentions.

Parental Expectations

Do you have expectations of your child, or do you accept them for who they are?

Are you encouraging your child to be the best version of themselves without guiding them to do what you want them to do?

By this, I mean saying specific things to them about your expectations.

You expect them to do specific things or become something or someone in particular - like a doctor, actor or vet.

Generalising is encouraged here.

By that, I mean encouraging them to live their dreams, fulfil their goals, and accomplish what they long to do.

It's vital that children know and feel that you accept them for who they are, not who you want them to become.

They are not here to live out your dreams.

Generational parenting

I suspect everyone made a silent vow to themselves as a child that "I'm never going to do/say that to my child" when I have one.

Then we find we're saying what we said we never wanted to! Despite our promise to ourselves, the unconscious part of the brain kicks in, and we automatically say or do something we once declared we wouldn't.

There's a science behind all this brain stuff, and if you ask any friend, I guarantee they've done the same.

To make generational change, you must make a conscious decision and constantly strive to live up to your personal goals.

Specifically, it all comes down to mindset, and it can be done.

It's called 'breaking the chain', and your children are the best motivators for that.

Finally, remember that you're human, and you'll make mistakes. Be aware of expectations and be clear on what you do and don't want to do as a parent.

Most importantly - enjoy the journey!